


Bug Sex

by Levifold



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (2012), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Other, Peter is Not Impressed, Tony is a troll, and Bruce doesn't even know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 19:23:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levifold/pseuds/Levifold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony was only trying to educate their new young Avenger. It's not his fault Peter can't take a joke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bug Sex

Peter was relaxing on the couch in the Stark Tower penthouse after a particularly long day of swinging and crime-fighting, when the owner of said building walked into the room.

“Hey Spidey, got an interesting video that you might find educational.”

Peter looked at him sceptically.

“Uh, we talking about sciencey stuff, or naked people here?”

“Give me some credit, Pete,” Tony said easily, tossing over a tablet onto the couch beside him as he casually strolled past towards the bar. “It's completely legit.”

Peter picked up and activated the tablet. A youtube video was already loaded on fullscreen. Glancing up over the top of it at the older man's back as he poured himself a drink, he wondered what this was all about, but shrugged and clicked play.

Hank Green greeted him, talking about the polar vortex. Peter watched in mild amusement as the man flailed while explaining about the science behind the cold snap they'd been having.

“Uh, Tony, I know it's cold outside. I do wear spandex you know.”

“Just keep watching,” Tony said, taking a quick swig from his glass.

Peter turned back to the video just as Hank exclaimed _“-why some insects aren't allowed to have sex.”_

_Wait, what?!_

Peter watched in dawning horror as Hank continued to talk excitedly about _“reverse pheromones”_ secreted by the queen that cause bugs to become infertile. Peter's gaze snapped up to glare at Tony, whose shoulders were shaking with suppressed mirth.

_“However, workers that were kept separate from their queens, quickly started to grow sex organs.”_

“So Peter, you grew sex organs? This like, the sex talk for you?”

“TONY YOU BASTARD!!” Peter yelled, leaping to his feet.

The man in question quirked and eyebrow, smirking as he walked towards the elevator. “I thought you might find it educational.”

“I'm gonna _kill you_ Stark!!” Peter said, stalking after him.

“Not today kid,” Tony threw over his shoulder as the elevator doors dinged, opening to reveal Bruce. Tony easily sidestepped the other scientist, with a swarmy pat on the shoulder. Bruce looked up startled, quickly taking in the slightly guilty tilt to Tony's shoulders, and the angry teenager in pursuit.

Bruce sighed. “Tony, what did you do?”

“What makes you think I did anything?” he threw back smartly, jabbing the door close button repeatedly.

“Because you always do something,” he replied, staring pointedly at the other man as the doors didn't respond.

“JARVIS...” Tony said nervously. “Doors. Closed. Nooooowww.”

“My apologies sir,” came the slightly sarcastic response, as the doors slid shut, slower than usual.

“I'm gonna web you to the top of your stupid tower!!” Peter growled as the door shut in his face. “Just you wait buckethead!”

Tony grinned, glancing at the other scientist still in the lift with him before address the ceiling.

“You get all that on video JARVIS?”

“Of course sir.”

Bruce just shook his head exasperatedly. It was only Tuesday.

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I'm fangirling with my mate Ryorion about all things Spidey and Marvel while watching Hank Green talk about bug sex. The vid in question can be found here: http://youtu.be/mxvVDtKZ3I0


End file.
